the grass is always greener…

the other day, tony wrote a story, and I thought I’d share it.  I changed the font to make it easier to read.  he wrote it in storybook, and that was just too difficult for me to read, being this small, and I thought anyone would have trouble, too.

There once was a kingdom far far away and in that kingdom was a small village with very poor people. Some of the poor people asked the king and queen for some money, but they refused to give up any of their money. Then a small little boy came into the small village; all the people came out of their little homes and they all laughed at the boy.  Then one villager burst out, saying, “ha ha ha little boy blue came to blow his horn”.  That only made the laughing worse.  Whatever they said the little boy ignored. Soon the little boy went to a house where his old pal lived. His friend said, “Hello, Tony”.  Then everyone stopped laughing…..everyone had heard the story of the legendary Tony Hockett; he once used his incredible powers to slay a dragon. The one who said the insult dared to come up to him and speak. He said,  “my great apologies,  Sir Tony”. Tony only said, “accepted”.  Then Tony’s friend said, “the poor ask of your help”.  Tony said, “very well, I shall do my best”. Then Tony went to the king and queen and said, “I command you to give these people money!”  Then the king said, “Aahhh, how dare you! Guards ,arrest this fool!”  “Yes ,sir”, they said.  Then Tony spun around in a circle, flames went everywhere, and the two guards fell to the ground. The king gasped, “You… you defeated my guards!”  Tony said, “Duh!  fire+guards=defeat!”  “Oh, yeah?  How about 20 guards?”  Then Tony said,  “Easy!”  The king said,  “How do you know?”  “Did you ever hear the story of me?” asked Tony.  The king said, “Don’t know…don’t care.”  Tony said, “grrrr/rrrrrrr you dumb idiot!”  Then the queen said,       “Aahhh, how dare you say that to my husband! guards arrest him!”  Then 999,999 guards went after him.   Then a mysterious little girl came into the small village.   The guy who said the insult to Tony said,  “Ha ha ha litt…” then someone interrupted: “Shut up!”  The little girl came to Tony’s friends house. Tony’s friend said, “Hello, Madison.”  Then Madison asked Tony’s friend, “Where is Tony?”  Then Tony’s friend said, “He is in the castle.”  Then Madison said, “Why?”  Then Tony’s friend said,  “To get the poor money.”   Then Madison headed for the castle. Then she saw 999,999 guards.  Then she got ready to fight side by side with Tony. Then Madison said, “You think we can take them?”  Tony said, “Definitely!”  Then they used their special moves, and all the guards fell to the ground.  Then Tony and Madison went for the king and queen; they fell to the floor, then they got the money then gave it to the poor people and they all lived a wonderful life.                                                                                                                                  the end   

ringo keeps turning over the water bowl, whether it’s empty or full. it’s a nice little wake up, to step in a puddle during a midnight bathroom visit…

I watched rachael ray this morning, and she had michael j. fox on.  he met a young lady who has helped raise over $60,000 for michael’s parkinson’s disease foundation.

as I watched him on that show, I felt a couple of different things.  I remembered the fond feelings I’ve always had for him.  I used to have a huge crush on him, from way back in the family ties days.  and I’ve always been impressed that he brings such a boy next door quality to all of the characters he plays.  I just think he must be a great person in real life.

I felt admiration for him, as well.   watching him jerking and twitching, I marveled at how brave he is; how difficult it must be, to be exposed in front of so many people.  he said that his symptoms were the result of medication.

and, for the record, I have always thought that rush limbaugh is a pompous ass.  and he only reaffirmed that opinion when he announced that michael was exaggerating the effects of his disease for public sympathy in a television ad for a politician who supports stem cell research.

I really really don’t like rush limbaugh, or other fanatics, such as laura schlessinger, ann coulter, al sharpton, among others.  I feel strongly about many things, but I think you can carry your feelings way too far, and these people are prime examples.

well, that’s it for my diatribe.  michael j fox gets my admiration, not animosity.  I’ll reserve that for rush.

by the way, I saw a bumper sticker the other day that said, “Jesus was a liberal”.  I really like that sentiment.

when I was a teenager, full of angst, I would hide from the world under my cover. I realize that most people stop this practice somewhere in elementary school, but I didn’t start until high school.

in the early evening, after supper, I would take my blanket into the front living room, while the rest of the fam would hang out in the family room.  I would put a couple of albums on the record player – usually elton john and rod stewart; sometimes ozzy or kiss – wrap up in my blanket, and rock myself to sleep.  I would cover every inch of myself, making sure that I had space to breathe.  I would rock in that chair until the early hours of the morning, when I would drag myself off to bed.

my parents never understood this behavior, my need to withdraw into myself, my blanket, my music.  I could never explain it to them, since I never really understood it myself.  it was just this primal urge that I had to obey.

and yes, this need got in the way of sleepovers frequently.  I was very blessed with a best friend who would rather sleep at my house than hers, and she didn’t mind at all that I had this need.  in fact, she would sit in the other rocking chair, listening with me, sharing my aloneness, until she got tired, then she would go on up to bed.

I would stay at her house some, but not as much.

over the years, I the urge to hibernate became more of a desire, then a luxury.  as my independence grew, then my family, I didn’t often have the opportunity, in fact, sometimes I didn’t have a rocking chair.

lately, I’ve been getting that old urge.  I’m not sure what has brought it about now, maybe depression, maybe something else.  late at night, when everyone else is asleep, I come out to the living room with my mp3 player, and curl up in the rocking chair.  I’m not as flexible as I used to be, so I can’t stay in the chair near as long, but it still feels good.

there are some days when I wish I could take comfort in my chair, alone.  many days lately.  I need to figure out what is triggering these feelings of isolation.

I haven’t written anything for several days, not for any reason other than I just feel dried up.  I can’t find words.  I wish I could once again let elton and rod speak for me.  they seem to be able to reach that part of me that feels the most.  my little music pal is full of persephone’s bees, michael buble, the dresden dolls, chieftains, imogen heap and others; but when that need calls, I fall back on my 2 oldest friends.  they’re always there, even when words fail.

cuppycake snuggling with tony’s boots

I never knew just how much I depend on my mother for family gatherings, until easter suddenly came.  I say suddenly, because it was very sudden for me.  every year, every year, mama gets the ham, the plastic eggs, and lots of basket fillers.

this year, mama’s been battling viruses and other illnesses for the past month, atleast.  nothing major, just enough to make her feel puny and not herself.

naturally, I being self centered and a bad daughter never gave a thought to ham and plastic eggs.  I had plenty of basket filler, so that wasn’t a problem.

saturday, I realized that we weren’t prepared, so I went to the store in search of the elusive ham.  and elusive it was.  there were none to be found.  so, I grabbed a couple of pork loins.  I didn’t, however, worry about plastic eggs, since tony and maddy had colored 3 dozen that morning.  I figured if it warmed up enough to have an egg hunt, we’d just use those.

the meal turned out great, everyone here loves pork loin, but it never really warmed up enough for hunting.  in fact, tony asked me yesterday if we were going to have one, and I told him I thought maybe we’d do it this weekend, since it would be warmer.  he then proceeded to tell me that he would not be participating, as he had grown too old to hunt for eggs.  last year he enjoyed it, but in the space of 12 months, he had grown up and realized that hunting eggs was for little kids.  !?!

well, next year maybe emma will be ready to hunt eggs.  tony says he’ll hide them for her.

and hopefully next year, I’ll remember this whole preparedness (or lack thereof) episode, and communicate with my mother…but probably not.  I’m not very good at planning ahead.  I can do it, I just choose not to, I reckon.

how crazy is it that on tuesday, when we went to the zoo, the temperature was in the 80’s, and the past couple of days are winter coat weather?  I know that I am going to freeze my bootie off tomorrow morning (well, I guess it’s already tomorrow) at the cemetery for sunrise service.  atleast we’ll have breakfast afterwards, food always makes it better!

I hope y’all have a happy and blessed easter, and that you find all the eggs you hide. 😀

stray goose, originally uploaded by hockamama.

…deciding whether or not to bite me

he sure loves that baby!, originally uploaded by hockamama.

full frontal view, originally uploaded by hockamama.

this is the room that will benefit from the organizing junkie’s 30 day organizational challenge. I knew it was bad, but until I actually took the pictures, I just didn’t realize how awful it was. I’m sorry that you have to look at it…

the cupboard to the left was the first project.  I worked on it yesterday.  this is probably where I should mention that I suffer from packrat-itis.  In my cupboard I found: 88 greeting cards, 19 boxes of greeting cards, 11 calendars, 4 yearbooks, 3 berke breathed books, 2 cat o’ nine tail whips, 2 old cellphones, a buttload of tealight candles, and a chicken that poos jellybeans.

I  didn’t get rid of all of it, but I did send quite a bit of this mess to goodwill.  surely someone will use these things instead of putting them away for later.  that’s part of my problem, I put things away for safekeeping, then I forget where they are!  I found a gift that I bought my good friend penny for Christmas, so I’ll give it to her for her birthday instead.

I plan to tackle more this afternoon and this weekend, but with this fussy little baby, it’s difficult to do as much as I would like.