the grass is always greener…

at 9:56 this evening, my baby, my little boy, my heart, will be 10 years old.

it’s been a long, exciting road.  for a year and a half, we tried to have a baby.  we did everything we could think of…I’ll spare you the details. nothing worked.

then, we decided that it wasn’t meant for us to have another child; after all, to say that kristopher was a handful was a MAJOR understatement.  so, we figured that he’d occupy us enough we wouldn’t even think about babies.

in january, I went back on the pill to control my awful monthly plague.  so in march, when I discovered I was 12 weeks pregnant, we were really surprised.  I have to say that I was disappointed, as well.  I had already adjusted to the idea of no more children; the other kids were old enough to get themselves ready to go, they didn’t wake up in the middle of the night…

if I were to be totally honest, I would tell you that I cried.  alot.  I did not want another child; kris was getting more difficult to deal with every day.  I just didn’t see the positive side.

it was a couple of weeks after tony’s birth, before we finally bonded.  rich worked overnight, so I was alone with this little crying baby.  I had postpartum depression, worse with each child.

I can’t pinpoint the moment when it all clicked.  it just hit me that the last thing I wanted was the thing I really needed.  this child just made me see things differently, more clearly.

I am so happy we were blessed with our little bonus.  he rounded out our nice little family of four, making us an odd number, an extra bed at the hotel.

for his birthday, he wants to take madison, and go to the build-a-bear workshop.  they will both get an animal, some kind of outfit and shoes.  he said he wanted to do this for himself and maddie, in lieu of a birthday party with all of his friends.

he’s such a sweet boy, with some dirt and daredevil mixed in for good measure.

I pulled into the garage around 11:15. I had left the house at 2:45. figure in 45 minutes travel time each direction, and I spent about 7 hours at the hospital last night. a couple of those hours were killed in the emergency room, then we moved down to the operating room waiting area.

when kristopher was little, we spent so much time at various hospitals, that it felt like we should be on a first name basis with the ER staff. over the years, he’s had 6 sets of stitches, 2 broken bones, numerous boogers and bangs, and a hole in his tongue that he could poke his finger through.

at 16 he has outgrown most of his clumsiness. unfortunately, he seems to have replaced it with teenage stupidity.

yesterday, on the way to lunch, he decided to impress his little girlfriend, and I reckon, the other guys who were in the group. they have to cross the courtyard to get to the cafeteria, and in that courtyard are some of these:and this kid, in his infinite teenage wisdom, proceeded to jump one. it didn’t matter that it was chest high, nor that he was wearing those stupid baggy nylon shorts that hang past his knees.

so, when the post caught his shorts, and his private area, and he subsequently landed on his ankle, he played it off, like he meant to do that. he was limping into the building when he noticed blood running down his leg.

he went into the restroom and checked himself, and discovered the his scrotum was torn open. from there, events moved pretty quick. the nurse checked it, then called 911. kris called his daddy, who called me and the foster mother, who called the foster father, who left work and went to the school.

when tom got there, the paramedic told him that kris had punctured his testicle and likely broken his ankle. they loaded him up and headed to the hospital.

fast forward >>> the urologist on call explained to us that this wasn’t your ordinary punctured testicle. this was indeed a serious situation. there was a 4 inch gash in his scrotum, which required anesthesia and a bit of surgery to repair.

the doctor said that if the fence had forced it’s way into his body just a fraction of an inch in either direction, it would be a very different story. he could have left there with a colostomy bag, or worse.

thankfully, the ankle was only badly sprained, and the fence chose just the right spot -if there was one- and everything was fixed and mended and on the way to healing. everything except his reputation, I reckon. although, he seemed pretty jazzed that the school security guard gave him the new nickname of steve-o.

I’ll be glad when the teenage idiocy wears off…it will wear off, won’t it?  won’t it?!  sigh

know what’s gross?

taking a second bite of some extra yummy garlic bread and realizing that there are ants baked into the underside of each slice 😥

know what’s hilarious?

when mr. husband comes dashing out of the shower demanding to know whose bright idea it was to buy baby soap with vapor in it. apparently when he ran out of irish spring, he grabbed the johnson’s, thinking it was tame. I think his private parts were screaming 😯

know what’s sad?

freddie mercury is dead. I mourned when he died, and periodically grieve when I listen to his beautiful voice, but today, it hit me afresh as I watched (for the millionth time) the freddie mercury tribute concert. he left before he should have. sadness.

these are glimpses into my state of mind.

one week before school started, tony reminded me that I had promised we’d go somewhere and do something this summer. but we didn’t, because I always have emma. so, at the last minute, rich and I decided we’d take a little trip down the blue ridge parkway. we picked tony up at from his sleepover saturday morning, and just kept going.

we drove up to meadows of dan to get to the parkway. why we went all the way up there, I’m not sure, but rich was driving. the parkway was kind of boring until we got into north carolina a little way. it was beautiful, but not much really to stop and do or see.

we stopped several times along the way, took a couple of little hikes, took lots of pictures that later all looked the same. we went to the moses cone house, it was gorgeous. we stopped for the night in blowing rock, one of my favorite places. I have been there before, without rich, so I wanted to show him so many things.

one picture I absolutely had to get was of this church, St. Mary’s of the Hills. it is the inspiration for the Lord’s Chapel Episcopal Church where you can find father tim in Jan Karon’s mitford series. it’s so beautiful, I would love to see the inside of it someday.

the next morning, we headed south once more, stopping in little switzerland, at this great little cafe. I had turkey and roasted red pepper quiche, with tomato basil soup. OMG!! best food I’ve had in a long time.

we went through a bunch of tunnels before we got off the parkway in asheville. I really wish we’d had more time, I would like to have visited biltmore. maybe next time.

we made it back in time for tony to hop in the shower and slide into bed. I took all of last year’s crap out of his bookbag and loaded it up with all of his new supplies. for some reason, we can’t seem to get the bag unpacked after school is out, it just sits in the closet waiting for a new school year…

this little trip was the perfect end to a really nice summer vacation, and has put me in the mood to start re-reading the mitford series. sometime, between jane austen and my newly developed infatuation with marne davis kellogg.

well, I think I fixed my spam filter…you wouldn’t believe all the evil thoughts, the self-doubt and loathing, and all manner of ugly that found it’s way into my life and attitude via my broken spam filter. hopefully I’ve got it under control, restored to default settings.

it took me awhile, but I think I’ve cleared all the snits out of my mind, and I’m ready to get back to the keyboard. bring on the positive!