things that make you go “hmm…”
Archived Posts from this Category
May 6, 2009
stuck!!
Posted by hockamama under life @ hockett house, things that make you go "hmm...", young'uns[3] Comments
August 27, 2008
in which the mama valiantly refrains from calling the child a dumbass…
Posted by hockamama under life @ hockett house, things that make you go "hmm...", young'uns1 Comment
…but let me tell you that it was extremely difficult to bite this tongue of mine! I was in the process of freezing blueberries, so the vacuum sealer and bags were still on the counter, and young charles thought he’d see how it felt to suck his forehead up into the vacuum. his face was priceless when I brought his little hickey to his attention.
now the poor kid has to go to school like that. he said he was gonna tell the other kids that his daddy hit him by accident with a golf ball. wonder if they’ll believe it? hopefully that’ll teach him not to mess with my things. *snort* yeah, right!
August 3, 2008
no wonder she’s a cold bitch
Posted by hockamama under life @ hockett house, things that make you go "hmm..."Leave a Comment
no wonder she’s a cold bitch, originally uploaded by hockamama.
I wouldn’t so much mind her getting on top of the refrigerator, if:
- she didn’t knock so many things off the side when she comes down
- she didn’t growl when I disturb her by opening the doors
April 30, 2008
have you seen that embarq internet commercial with the giant cat? a man and woman are on the couch and the man’s reading the paper or something. he mentions that embarq high speed internet will never raise their price. the woman tells him that their cat wasn’t supposed to get very big, either. then they both turn and look at this humongous cat sitting on the end of the couch. the cat then turns his butt to them and repositions himself, knocking over the lamp on the end table in the process. they just shake their heads and look away.
my first thought upon seeing this commercial was, ‘wow, how cool would that be, to have such a giant cat!’ then I remember the lamp breaking, and think, ‘well, maybe not’…because after all, I think my 6 cats are capable of destroying my house~and they do try, on a regular basis~on their own, they don’t need no stinkin’ giant cat.
but still, the commercial is funny. I tried to find it on youtube and give you a link, but it’s not on there. sorry
January 22, 2008
conversatin’ at hockett house
Posted by hockamama under Sincerely Holly, special times, things that make you go "hmm..."1 Comment
me: hey honey, I’ve been thinkin’ about something and I want your input.
him: sure, fire away.
me: well, you know how your friend john’s last name is spelled yownt, but it’s pronounced yunt?
him: yeah…
me: and you know how roy blount jr’s last name is spelled blownt, but is pronounced blunt?
him: (confused) uh huh..
me: well, why do you suppose count is both spelled and pronounced cownt?
him: (after he realizes what I’m getting at) good Lord, woman! why do you think of such things?!
January 5, 2008
Equal opportunity snuggler
Posted by hockamama under life @ hockett house, Photos, Sincerely Holly, things that make you go "hmm..."[2] Comments
starshine has always confounded me; one minute she’s giving her children the smackdown, the next she’s being friendly. somedays she wants to be held and petted, others she hisses if you look at her.
lately, she’s been an indiscriminate snuggler.
she loves tony 
and rich 
even emma’s boppy 
but mostly, she loves tony
I just love the way she’s hugging his neck. she can be so sweet, but in the blink of an eye, she’s satan again. I just can’t figure it out…
December 26, 2007
lesson of the day…
Posted by hockamama under life @ hockett house, things that make you go "hmm..."1 Comment
…NEVER step in front of a young boy with an open can of diet coke when said boy is playing wii tennis.
obviously, santa brought tony the wii he has desired for the last year. he and his daddy have been playing tennis for a few hours now…it clearly states in the directions -for those of us idiots who have no common sense- to stand clear of other people when you’re playing the game. unfortunately it didn’t state: ‘mothers, make sure you don’t walk in front of players!!
October 19, 2007
keeper of the lock
Posted by hockamama under life @ hockett house, things that make you go "hmm..."Leave a Comment
we’ve lived in our house 9 years now. on the left side of us, lives patsy, junis and john. patsy is mama’s age, and a widower, for about 4 years now. her husband wayne was a really nice guy, typical southern man. a couple of years before our arrival, wayne had a stroke, causing him to speak like boomhauer from king of the hill. sometimes patsy would have to translate for me; I always felt bad when I couldn’t understand him.
now patsy’s boyfriend junis lives with her, along with her son john, who is about 27. john is a firefighter, emt and also works at the 911 call center, so he’s rarely home.
on the other side of us lives doris and her boyfriend lloyd. doris is patsy’s mama. she and lloyd are both older than dirt. lloyd has been living with doris for 20 years or better, and patsy cannot stand him. apparently, they’ve never gotten along; the police have visited both houses more times than I can count, just in the last 9 years. tammie-from whom we purchased our lovely abode and became good friends-has also plied us with abundant stories.
at some point, long ago, his pilot light blew out and hasn’t come back on. at first, I thought she was exaggerating, but over time, I learned different.
people ‘break into’ their house and:
- hide the television remote/keys, etc.
- steal the spare cases of soda hidden under his bed
- steal bags of sugar from the stockpile in the basement
- steal food out of the cupboard
- steal one sock from every pair, forcing him to wear only one kind of sock, so when he replaces them, he doesn’t have a whole bunch of extras
- unplug the washing machine/microwave/dishwasher
people have also broken into his car, only to change the radio station and lock the doors behind themselves.
because these same people would take lloyd’s pajamas off the clothesline, he finally quit hanging them out. when he was still hanging clothes out, he would roll up the clothesline and take it into the house when he was done using it.
unfortunately, as time has gone on, lloyd has only lost more of his mind, and now doris has been diagnosed with alzheimer’s. lloyd has always kept the house locked up tight, going as far as locking the screen door behind him when he would go out to the mailbox. he has nailed the front and back doors shut, and the carport door is locked with a deadbolt that takes a key to open.
3 times a day, patsy and junis deliver their meals and medicine to them. they have to stand outside for several minutes while lloyd locates the key -providing it wasn’t stolen in the meantime- to let them in.
lloyd has always suspected patsy of being his thief, so he won’t give her a key. she did happen to find an extra key one day, and hung it on a nail inside the utility room, just in case something happens and lloyd doesn’t/can’t come to the door.
over the years, we have laughed at his nutty behavior, and have tossed about the idea of toying with him, but our consciences won’t let us.
however, rich and I do get tickled. every night…EVERY. NIGHT. lloyd opens and shuts his door several times.
last night, in the space of about 30 minutes, lloyd opened and shut his door 43 times. most of the time, it was open for less than 5 seconds, but sometimes as long as 30 seconds. a few times, he reached out and rattled the screen door, to make sure it was good and locked. then, a minute later, he would check it again.
I feel bad for patsy, having to watch her mama decline so much, and not be able to do much. at this point, her options are to keep up this routine, or put her mama in a home. pretty depressing choices.
for now, though, I enjoy watching the checking of the locks every night.
October 7, 2007
the other day, I was crossing the bridge over the tracks on the way to a friend’s house. I noticed this…
August 12, 2007
Found:
Posted by hockamama under funny bone, News and politics, Sincerely Holly, things that make you go "hmm..."[3] Comments
one lego man, 8 feet tall. he’s wearing a blue shirt that reads, “no real than you are”, with red pants, and yellow head and arms.
he washed up on the shore of a resort in Zandvoort, Netherlands this past tuesday. 
the locals are taking care of him, but they are curious to know from whence he came. if you have any information, please contact the zandvoort chamber of commerce. 😀
you talk, I listen
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My Scrabble© Score is: 22.
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the grass is always greener... 