mi familia


I’ve seen these all over the blogosphere, and decided I needed one of my own.  It took almost 2 packages of those mini plastic eggs, and LOTS of painting time, but I love it.  It’s not an easter wreath; well, it could be, I reckon; but I made it because I’m in love with birds and nests and such (just following the current trends, I suppose).

I spend more time on facebook than I do here on this blog, and it shows.

this past wednesday, my son kris and his girlfriend ashley moved in with us.  she’s 3 months pregnant, and they need a place to stay.  so, soon we’ll begin a few renovations upstairs.  the advantage of rich being unemployed, is that he’s got lots of time to do the things around the house that need to be done.  the disadvantage, obviously, is fundage.

this last friday, tony was suspended from school for 3 days for fighting with his arch nemesis.  they were best friends from kindergarten thru 4th grade.  alex has always been a bully, and tony has always been a pushover.  then one summer day, I was standing in alex’s yard, talking to his mama, when tony comes running around the house, all kinds of upset.  he and alex had a dispute of some adolescent boy type, and alex punched him in the eye and sat on his chest.

that was the end of the friendship.  alex tried real hard to get tony to be his friend again.  he apologized over and over.  his mother even called and said that her husband just couldn’t understand what the problem was.  when he was a young’un, he and his friends were always beating each other up.  I explained to her that rich and I never  had friends who hurt us.  if they did, they weren’t our friends, and we’ve always raised our children with the same beliefs.  friends protect, not inflict.

now, with puberty rearing it’s ugly head, alex’s anger issues bubble a little closer to the surface.  when they encounter each other, he talks junk to tony.  on friday, playing dodge ball, it quickly escalated to physical warfare, and tony finally stood up to him and punched him back.  our school has a zero tolerance policy, so even defending yourself gets you 3 days.  so, after spring break is over, tony still has a few extra days at home.  Le sigh….

life is nothing but interesting at casa de hockett!

I don’t care what your poo looks like!! just sayin’.

if you’ve never told me about your poo, then obviously this post isn’t referring to you. just ignore.

a few sundays ago, we had a covered dish dinner after church, to visit with laura’s parents, who were, in turn, visiting our little village.

I made a crock pot of barbecue, an italian cream cake, and a lemon cheesecake which turned out very tart. unfortunately, I didn’t eat any of them. I have this very ugly habit of eating fast, and not chewing well. I think it developed when I worked at the school and only had about 15 minutes to scarf down my lunch; when I realize it, I slow down and count my chews to make sure I don’t inhale it. most of the time, though, I don’t realize it until I’m sitting and waiting for everyone else to finish.

on this day, however, I took the first bite of my bbq sandwich, chewed it a couple of times, and suddenly became aware that it was stuck. I tried to make it unstuck, but pretty quickly realized I couldn’t do it on my own. I jumped up from the table and got rich’s attention, then I ran outside. ~I had the presence of mind to think that when that the chunk came up, I didn’t want to gross everyone out~ so, rich and bobby followed me out. my loving husband gave me the heimlich and beat the hell out of my back. after a few gasping breaths, I was back on track, but my stomach hurt too bad to eat anything.

while the same loving husband was petting me and comforting me, he swatted away a japanese hornet. after he swatted it the third time, it landed on his hand. when he swiped at it again, it stung him…right on that vein that runs on the top of your hand. we went back inside and to different conversations. he sat down with bobby (the unofficial ‘father’ of the church-he’s the one everybody goes to with concerns-he’s also on the fire department) and showed him the sting. while he was sitting there, he started to feel warm.

bobby ran home (not even a quarter of a mile from church) to get some benadryl. in the meantime, rich was turning red and getting warmer. soon after, his breathing became more shallow, and he quit communicating. a couple of guys pulled him off the chair onto the floor. bobby came back with the pills, but there was no way rich was going to be able to swallow them. he ran upstairs and called 911, and right after he came downstairs rich started shaking, in anaphylactic shock. he had guys on each arm and leg, and someone fanning his face. they were all telling him it was gonna be okay, he was gonna be fine. meanwhile, I’m standing there crying and watching all of this. I’ve got a woman on each side of me sobbing and holding on to me for dear life. I just knew that I was watching my husband die and there was nothing any of us could do.

FINALLY the first responders got there with oxygen, which helped revived him just enough that we could see his chest rising. the ambulance came close behind and in short order had him iv’d and medicated. bobby drove me to the hospital and I stayed with rich. we were there for a little over 4 hours, while they dosed him with steroids and anti-allergins. he had huge, quarter sized blisters all over his torso and arms, which slowly faded to hives, then disappeared altogether.

he was released on his own recognizance that evening, and we decided to go grab some food, since we had abused our lunch hour with our antics. I chewed my food good and slow, and he ate like a man back from the dead.

things have settled back down, now. he carries an epi-pen with him, and he even got stung a few days ago, but nothing happened. it was just a little honeybee feeding on the hummingbird nectar, and thought rich’s knee looked like a nice spot to park his butt. the area swelled but he had no other affects, which proved my theory that he’s not really allergic, it’s just that those japanese hornets are bad bad news…especially if they get your blood vein.

we’ve had a few of them up around the porch and I swat the piss out of them, while rich runs inside. he’s not taking any chances now.

it’s funny ~not funny ha-ha, but funny ironic~ rich has been seeing a therapist for a couple of months now, is on a great medication, and he’s been like a new man. our relationship is great, almost like new again. and now this episode has made him even more grateful, thankful, appreciative of life. he truly is not the man I married, but newer, better than before. he’s my six million dollar man.

vacations and breaks are so nice and relaxing, it makes it really difficult to get back to real life. rich took last week off work. he messed around the house, doing some things that needed to be done. we spent some time together.

the kids only had school monday and tuesday, so tony was home for 5 days. it was really nice.

thanksgiving was very yummy and overfilling. everyone came up here. I made 2 pumpkin pies, a pumpkin cheesecake and an italian cream cake for dessert. there were also all the usual suspects: turkey, stuffing, gravy, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, and cranberry sauce-which I forgot to take out of the fridge, but I’m the only one who eats it, so…-and mama brought green bean casserole and dinner rolls. mandi brought macaroni and cheese because she knew she wouldn’t like most of what I made.

I hollowed out some miniature decorative gourds and set them on a long narrow plate, with candles inside and fall leaves around the edges. they looked really nice with my pretty burnt umber tablecloth. I had actually done this last week when we had friends over, and the gourds were just this side of yuck, so I used them again.

friday I went shopping in the wee hours, then came home and napped for a couple of hours. afterwards, we went into rich’s terminal to set up the runs and the dock. the supervisors take turns, so every 5th saturday we have to go in. since his turn fell on a holiday weekend-they were closed friday-we had 2 days to do.

friday night I had a youth lock-in at church. we had play practice for awhile, then watched a couple of movies, played some games, then played hide & seek in the dark church. that’s so much fun. we have a small youth group, but they sure are great kids.

we finally got everyone to calm down around 1:30, watching the nativity story. then, before I knew it, rich was there at 7:00 to pick me up. the sweetheart even had coffee for me!

after we got back from his terminal, mandi & I went to danville and hung out.  I went to hobby lobby to buy some ornaments to decorate, and found the cutest santa aprons, one for rich and one for me.

the preacher came over for dinner saturday night.  rich grilled steaks and shrimp, so all I had to do was bake some potatoes.  we still had plenty of dessert left.  I love this minister of ours, she’s just the cutest thing.  what I really love about her is her enthusiasm and her bright and bubbly personality.  she comes to our house 2 or 3 times a month, and she just acts so at home.

after dinner, the four of us played mario party.  laura is very competitive, as are rich and tony.  I, on the other hand know that I suck at video games, so I just play for fun.

sunday after church we went into town and bought a christmas tree.  it’s been years since we visited a christmas tree lot, and it was so cool, very reminiscent of ‘a christmas story’ or ‘christmas vacation’.  tony picked out a nice 7 foot fraser fir, then proceeded to gaudy it up.

for the last 10 or 12 years, I have had my own tree.  I like clear lights, primitive ornaments, simple and pretty.  rich and the kids like colored lights, lots of garland and glitz.  so, the family tree is where all the family ornaments go, along with all the ornaments the kids have collected and made over the years.

this morning will be filled with taking empty boxes to the garage, and setting up my tree and all my nativity sets.  I won’t set them all up, partly because of emma, and partly because I now have so many, I can afford to be choosy about which ones I display.

emma will be here soon, so I reckon I’ve got my work cut out for me.  now if I can just keep her out of the tree…

this past weekend, our minister went to the beach with her family.  she asked mama if she would give the sermon.  by the end of the service, she had many of us in tears.  I thought I’d share it with y’all:

Hope

Lamentations chapter 3

In Lamentations Jeremiah bemoans the punishment from God..but then praises God for his forgiveness

Just as Jeremiah felt hopeless and helpless I am sure that many people feel the same way at times. Jeremiah had faith that God would save him eventually. Even after all he had been through he still praised God. Jeremiah made me think about how much it is the same..even today. Most everyone goes through horrible things at one time or another. Things that make us feel hopeless.

There is a story I would like to share with you. About someone I have know for as long as I can remember.

As a child she was shy at times and like most children, boisterous at others. She seemed like any other child.

As she aged she began to speak about the experiences of her life. From her childhood into her journey to find God. She spoke of the abuse and molestation she went through which started at a young age and continued into her teen years. She felt hopeless. She spoke of the fear that would grip her STILL at certain times because of an action or a word. It especially takes her a long time to warm up to men. Trusting is still not always easy for her either.

She talks of some of the extraordinary life experiences she has lived. The pain others brought her and the pain she brought on herself. How her first husband cheated on her within just a few months of their mariage when she had thought she had finally found THE ONE. She had let down her guard and actually trusted someone.

After 8 years of marriage he left her for another. She was pregnant at the time. She felt hopeless

She talks of her second husband who was her best friend’s brother in law and how he had befriended her as she went through those difficult times. How she fell in love with him after she assumed he had turned himself around from breaking the law and going to prison. But when he returned to his illegal ways and she refused to lie for him he threatened to kill both her and her children. So she had to flee to be safe. But he always would find her eventually no matter how many times she moved. How the Secret Service found her as well and came to question her about him. She knew nothing but was still afraid. She felt hopeless

So many life experiences that most people could NEVER understand. Some more than she can bare to speak about.

She talked of how she eventually turned to alcohol to keep those memories at bay, therefore neglecting her children. She had shoved those horrible emotions and memories so far down that when they did creep to the surface she would shut down inside. She still does that once in awhile.

She has spoken of losing two friends by murder. One a very special classy lady who had been married to a politician in New York state but got divorced and moved back to her old stomping ground and renewed her relationship with her highschool boyfriend. After many years of troubles he eventually shot her to death. The other person she knew who was killed was one of her old boyfriends whose present girlfriends son beat him to death with a baseball bat. And she know he probably had done something that led to his own demise.

She dabbled in the occult. She read tarot cards. She did that until she became fearful. Not fearful because she thought they were evil as many do but because she was way too good at it to be comfortable. She would see death and there would be a death. The things she would see frightened her.

There are just way too many things to tell about her. It would take hours to tell all her stories.

She talks about her children who have stood by her through thick and thin no matter what had happened or is happening. And how much she loves them. In more ways than one, they are what saved her life.

She also talks about her present husband who is a kind and loving partner and father.

Then she speaks of the day she stepped foot in the door of her church. The friendly welcome she received from strangers. She was careful for a long time to not get close to anyone there. She knew what it was like to lose people she loved and cared about.

Slowly she became acquainted with a few, but she wasn’t ready to let down her guard and trust. As time went on she joined in on more and more activities and found that all of the people of the church were good people. Some more accepting of an her than others. But for the most part it felt comfortable. She began to find some hope in her life.

Maybe, just maybe God had led her to this place. Over a period of time she realized all she had been through from childhood on was probably meant to be. God in his wisdom had given her the tools she needed. She had a love and understanding of those who were different. Her life experiences gave her some degree of knowing what others are feeling. Knowing that some life experiences can change a person forever. Although it was her family that saved her life She felt that God’s mercy had saved her heart and her soul.

God is all about Hope and Love. He is an equal opportunity employer. He doesn’t discriminate. Some lives may be dreary, some wonderful, some awful. You just never know what he may have in store for your life. But I do know the ending of this story. If you allow Him to..he will guide you to where you need to be. Take my word for that.

If you haven’t guessed already who the lady is in my story. It’s me. I could stand up here all day and recite pages out of my life, but I won’t. I really wanted to tell you that God is the miracle working in my life. Nobody that knew me back when..would ever guess I would be where I am today. Let alone standing in front of you all..giving a sermon. Over the last couple of years God has led me to talk about some of my experiences to try and help others. I was encouraged to write about molestation. So I did. I can only hope it has helped those who have read it. God has changed my hopelessness into hope. Just as he did for Jeremiah. I opened my heart even though it was hard for me to do. I have found that bad experineces and secrets can carrode a soul.

I also learned to no longer be a very judgemental person. I gave that over to God as well. I try hard to take people as they are because it is what God would want me to do. I have a love in my heart for all of you even if I don’t agree with you about everything. Just as he had judged Jeremiah. God is the supreme judge in our Christian lives. I realize now that he never failed me. He wanted me to be who I am and where I am today, although I am not perfect. I will always be eternally grateful for his love, his guidance and his support.

There are 365 pages in your life story every year. God did not promise us they would all be good ones, but he did promise he would be there for us.

Let us pray

Heavenly Father as we try and live our lives in the way you want us to, please forgive us when we falter and fail. The blessings you give us every day are worth more than anything else that is worldly. Give us the courage to not judge those who are different from ourselves. Let us show your love to each other. In Jesus’s name Amen

**the cheating first husband, and the kind third husband are one in the same.  that would be my daddy.  during their divorce, he married satan and had another child.  he learned many lessons during those years, and he was a different man when they remarried**

I pulled into the garage around 11:15. I had left the house at 2:45. figure in 45 minutes travel time each direction, and I spent about 7 hours at the hospital last night. a couple of those hours were killed in the emergency room, then we moved down to the operating room waiting area.

when kristopher was little, we spent so much time at various hospitals, that it felt like we should be on a first name basis with the ER staff. over the years, he’s had 6 sets of stitches, 2 broken bones, numerous boogers and bangs, and a hole in his tongue that he could poke his finger through.

at 16 he has outgrown most of his clumsiness. unfortunately, he seems to have replaced it with teenage stupidity.

yesterday, on the way to lunch, he decided to impress his little girlfriend, and I reckon, the other guys who were in the group. they have to cross the courtyard to get to the cafeteria, and in that courtyard are some of these:fence_post.jpgand this kid, in his infinite teenage wisdom, proceeded to jump one. it didn’t matter that it was chest high, nor that he was wearing those stupid baggy nylon shorts that hang past his knees.

so, when the post caught his shorts, and his private area, and he subsequently landed on his ankle, he played it off, like he meant to do that. he was limping into the building when he noticed blood running down his leg.

he went into the restroom and checked himself, and discovered the his scrotum was torn open. from there, events moved pretty quick. the nurse checked it, then called 911. kris called his daddy, who called me and the foster mother, who called the foster father, who left work and went to the school.

when tom got there, the paramedic told him that kris had punctured his testicle and likely broken his ankle. they loaded him up and headed to the hospital.

fast forward >>> the urologist on call explained to us that this wasn’t your ordinary punctured testicle. this was indeed a serious situation. there was a 4 inch gash in his scrotum, which required anesthesia and a bit of surgery to repair.

the doctor said that if the fence had forced it’s way into his body just a fraction of an inch in either direction, it would be a very different story. he could have left there with a colostomy bag, or worse.

thankfully, the ankle was only badly sprained, and the fence chose just the right spot -if there was one- and everything was fixed and mended and on the way to healing. everything except his reputation, I reckon. although, he seemed pretty jazzed that the school security guard gave him the new nickname of steve-o.

I’ll be glad when the teenage idiocy wears off…it will wear off, won’t it?  won’t it?!  sigh

my bruddas, originally uploaded by hockamama.

ben and stuart. neither of them like to have their picture made, so I had to trick them, which they like even less. the shot was worth it, though. ben and his wife and twin girls were down for their annual visit over the 4th of july. that’s the only time we see them.

it’s so hard to wrap my mind around my little brothers having kids of their own. it doesn’t seem that long ago they were kids themselves. stuart was 15 and ben was 10 was jessica was born, so she grew up with them. well, more with stuart, since ben didn’t live with us. that’s why she doesn’t treat them as uncles, more like the pesky older brothers that she wishes she had.

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