at 9:56 this evening, my baby, my little boy, my heart, will be 10 years old.

it’s been a long, exciting road.  for a year and a half, we tried to have a baby.  we did everything we could think of…I’ll spare you the details. nothing worked.

then, we decided that it wasn’t meant for us to have another child; after all, to say that kristopher was a handful was a MAJOR understatement.  so, we figured that he’d occupy us enough we wouldn’t even think about babies.

in january, I went back on the pill to control my awful monthly plague.  so in march, when I discovered I was 12 weeks pregnant, we were really surprised.  I have to say that I was disappointed, as well.  I had already adjusted to the idea of no more children; the other kids were old enough to get themselves ready to go, they didn’t wake up in the middle of the night…

if I were to be totally honest, I would tell you that I cried.  alot.  I did not want another child; kris was getting more difficult to deal with every day.  I just didn’t see the positive side.

it was a couple of weeks after tony’s birth, before we finally bonded.  rich worked overnight, so I was alone with this little crying baby.  I had postpartum depression, worse with each child.

I can’t pinpoint the moment when it all clicked.  it just hit me that the last thing I wanted was the thing I really needed.  this child just made me see things differently, more clearly.

I am so happy we were blessed with our little bonus.  he rounded out our nice little family of four, making us an odd number, an extra bed at the hotel.

for his birthday, he wants to take madison, and go to the build-a-bear workshop.  they will both get an animal, some kind of outfit and shoes.  he said he wanted to do this for himself and maddie, in lieu of a birthday party with all of his friends.

he’s such a sweet boy, with some dirt and daredevil mixed in for good measure.