there are several blogs that I read regularly and passionately.  most times I do not comment, though; I’d rather read anonymously, but then sometimes my fingers just itch to say something.

one of those blogs is menosblog.  tuesday marked one year of blogging for her, and in her post she asked her readers to tell her how they started blogging.  that gave me the idea for this post.

I started blogging for a couple of reasons.  one was to tell my side of mama’s stories.  she always tells them from the mama *said with a sigh* perspective; I thought the kid should have her say, too.

the other reason is because I’m a voyeur.  I just reached that conclusion while I was commenting over at meno’s place.  I’m very inquisitive, nosy, curious by nature.   I used to rummage around in my parent’s drawers and closets when they weren’t home. (shh…don’t tell mama!)

I would do this at other people’s homes, too; like when I babysat, at my grandparents’, a boyfriend, basically anywhere that I could snoop alone.  I didn’t do it to get the goods on anyone, blackmail’s not my thing.  I didn’t want to take anything that they had-well, maybe I wanted to, but I didn’t.  I just wanted to see their secrets, get a glimpse into the part of them they didn’t make public.

by the way, I don’t do this anymore, so if by some chance you have me over, I won’t rummage through your things, I promise!

I’m sure over the years I found things that were better left hidden, but I can’t think of anything right this minute.  In fact, I honestly can’t think of anything at all that I discovered.  I really do have a terrible memory, I guess in this instance it’s a good thing.

my cousin, however, found something horrifying that she couldn’t wait to show me.  her parents used to go out once in awhile and leave us with her older brothers.  on one of those nights, she took me into her parents’ bedroom and dug around in a dresser drawer.

what she pulled out still haunts me to this day.  I can’t even sit here and tell you about it without shuddering.  this was a good 28 or 30 years ago, mind you.  in this drawer were 2 polaroid pictures.  one of each of her parents, NAKED!  I was scarred for life that night.

it was several years before I could look either of them in the eye, but now that I’ve grown up and seen quite a bit of nudity, I think I would probably have to laugh and tell my aunt the story.

I would like to say that this particular episode cured me of my curiosity nosiness, unfortunately, it didn’t.   years later, i just decided one day that enough was enough, and I quit cold turkey.  like any addiction, it was very difficult at first, then slowly eased off, but every once in awhile I still have that craving.  I just have to distract myself for a few moments, and the longing goes away.

nowadays, I use yard sale and thrift store therapy to help me get by.  I wholeheartedly adhere to the theory one man’s trash tells much about his life.  hmm…I wonder if any of our babysitter’s have gone through my drawers.  maybe that’s why some of them have never come back.  maybe that’s why I can’t find my cat o’ nine tails…

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